Wrong Side of the Desk

I plan, I prepare, I meditate, I calculate, I pray, I consult, I cut, I paste, I research, I decide, I discuss, I discern but no matter how hard I try… I just can’t predict what my first week will be like!  And here I am, tired, frustrated, already wondering if it’s too late to enroll the kids into the Christian school down the street… aiya….

And then, I get a jolt of truth.  I’m forgetting WHY I’m doing this.  I’m forgetting WHO these little children are.  I’m forgetting IN WHOSE strength I need to be living and raising.  I’m forgetting that no expensive curriculum, no perfectly designed classroom, no carefully organized schedule can replace what He’s called me to do… disciple my children for the kingdom of God.  For the glory of God. And I am destined to fail when I need Holy Spirit-infused power in order to successfully function in this God-given endeavor.

It’s sad to be in this state only three days into a new school year.  But thank You, heavenly Father for showing me EARLY on how defeated I will be in my aspirations and ambitions when I strive in my own strength and wisdom. 

Another Ann Voskamp blog to inspire me to keep my gaze fixed on Jesus.  To consider my Savior who was so patient and so kind to those around Him – whining, complaining, hungry, sick, tired, unruly, unappreciative, loud, self-centered ‘children’ who clustered around Him day and night.  To be reminded that Jesus, Creator and Master of the Universe, the One who was truly above all gave His all as a sacrifice for His beloved ones.  So, can I just do the same?  Be reminded of the privilege of staying home with my kids, the joy of demonstrating to them the reality of my sin nature and the greater wonder of forgiveness?  Oh to be like our Lord Jesus.  To please Him and glorify Him in all that we say and do.  To transfer theology to practice.  Help me, Lord Jesus!


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Jen
    Aug 29, 2008 @ 09:53:49

    We aren’t starting school until Tuesday, but once again, you have said so much of what is on my heart right now as I prepare for our year (and my *preparation* isn’t even going smoothly…ack!) We have had several years of just “barely surviving” and our schooling has so reflected that…I am so convicted and determined that this year *must* be different. That no matter *what* happens (and we already know that we may be facing some *serious* potential interruptions this year), that I *must* make the best use of this blessing and opportunity that God has given us to homeschool. And I can already tell that it is going to be a struggle not to become consumed by “We have to get this done!”

    I think I was just about to post my whole blog post on this in your comments…so I’ll just say “thank you” for sharing these words, and the link to Ann Voscamp, which I also needed….and then go post at my place! 🙂

    Hope your week wraps up beautifully!!


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